The Mare

Foundering. It was foundering they
kept saying. That Travis had
walked in and saw something had
happened, but he didn't know
what to do. He knew about
staying on your feet
and not lying down. He ran
to get Bill. They came in
out of breath with their hats
off. Then Bill told Travis to
get Emily and dad.

I thought about the oats. The peacefulness
of the oats and the sweet crispness
of the dry corn. The smell of oats;
the dust of oats around your nose.
All the joy in your life in the
sunshine drinking cool water and coming
inside and having a little more to
eat, then the quiet of the
barn. Long nights without wind.
Listening to the small
sounds. Drifting to sleep
without thoughts of morning.

By now they were yelling.
Emily and Travis were off to get
the doctor. Gene was pulling me
around the lot and
Bill pushed when I tried to stop.
All the lanterns were lit, like
they were looking for
something. The animals moved
and watched with their eyes.
Outside the barn lot the
world was silent and waiting.

My legs were in terror - foam
thick in my mouth. I felt the red
and pain in my eyes. My guts
screaming. I wanted water, and
did not want water.
Gene and Bill pushed and pulled and
strained. I laid down. I laid
down by the fence near the
small gate.

The men's voices changed. They spoke
a new language. I could not
hear Emily's soft high
voice, or Myra's laughing.
The languages changed and changed
until they became the same - a
sound like rustling or wind.
The sound of a hand as it
strokes your neck. Then
no sound at all, just a feeling
like you're running as fast as
you can through dark and the
feeling of air all around you.
The soft and the present.