Secret Topeka

The good many hours I've put in with
My married woman (unmarried to me)
Spent not talking about her husband in Topeka -
Is that a Kansas?
It was because we could openly lie.
I to her, her to me


Making great plans and thrashing in a
Small bed
But only when she could.
Between meals. Between airlines.


I once drove two hours to meet her
For forty-five minutes then
Came home to dinner. HA!


I pretended to love her name.
She pretended to love my talking.
Our feet touched in restaurants.
I told her I could play piano (I can't).
She told me about architecture
And I still don't care.
She would only peal a hotel orange
With a spoon.


In May her husband will name my daughter -
Who she will say comes two weeks early.


I am imagining a way of flying to a secret Topeka.
The rest of my life spent learning about the schools,
The neighborhoods, the events. A lifetime
Learning about things, and seeing things that
I can never have.