mourning thoughts

the tired slips
around me like
a large unseen
snake

wrapping me
slowly squeezing

eyes droop
i feel numbed

these last weeks
have taken me

i sleep, fitfully
wake up drink coffee
eat a bagel
get dressed

i try not to
dwell on him not
being here any more
except in my mind's eye

i don't cry, though
i find myself looking
for him

i look at his bookshelves
afraid to touch one
leave things the way they are

let things rest
its too early for
things like that
cleaning out
removing the leftovers
he's still in
those leftovers

so i mourn, in my
own way not with ripping
of clothes or gnashing of teeth
but through thought &
memories

DWC 2008